Naked Lesbian dances with your BFF.


News travels fast in junior high. One minute you are in German class trying your best to connect with a couple of slightly popular girls. You gab over hilarious stories of being nerds with your friends. You tell one story silly story about putting glow stars all over your body and dancing around in your pitch-dark bedroom and the lesbian rumors are in full effect by afternoon gym class.

First of all it should be noted that I didn’t realize I had an arch nemesis in seventh grade. Her name was Breanna Morris* and apparently it was her life’s mission to make mine miserable. At the time of this alleged story I had no idea that she hated me. I didn’t think anyone had any opinion of me. I mostly kept to my small group of friends and generally felt invisible to the whole school. I thought of myself as being too average to even be noticed, let alone hated.

Yet she did hate me for some reason. The only reason I could figure out was the fact that I beat her out of a spot for Youth Honor Choir in sixth grade. I remember a rumor spreading after the fact that I wasn’t even that good of a singer, but our music teacher felt sorry for me. Sorry for what? Who knows? The rumor didn’t make sense, but what do you expect out of twelve-year-old girl.  It wasn’t long until I figured out that Breanna had spread the rumor around. This new rumor reeked of the same nonsensical details of the first one.

In German class, I had told a table including Breanna that my best friend Sara* and I were bored one night during a sleepover at my house. Our boredom was mixed with Top 40 radio of the late 90’s and a package of unused glow stars (Do they still sell those things? All I know was that the walls in my room was covered in them and it was AWESOME!). We were having our own personal rave without the added supplements (We were high on life, or not having one). We were having goofy innocent fun and Sara*, being the hilarious girl she was, decided to kick it up a notch by putting two small glow stars on her chest as if they were her nipples. This was the funniest part of my story and the girls in German class seemed to agree.

My story was a hit! I spent most of the day glowing in my triumph of relating to more girls my age.  I was no longer the shy and awkward girl. Instead I was the hilarious girl, who told great stories. The feeling lasted all but four hours. Throughout the day I kept getting looks from various peers in my class. I chalked it up to the fact that most of them heard how awesomely hilarious I was. Some of the boys that generally ignored me where making actual eye contact and even smiling at me!

By afternoon gym class I was feeling pretty good about myself. Then my new world was crushed and I wanted to crawl under the nearest rock. One of my close friends, Cass* brought me down to reality.

“Is it true that you and Sara were doing naked lesbian dances with glow stars all over your body in your bedroom?” She asked.

I was shocked, first of all what the HELL were “naked lesbian dances”? Second, who even mentioned being naked?

At the exact moment I realized that all the smiles and direct eye contact were actually snickers at my expense. The worst part was that the only other person that could truly say what really went on in my bedroom, Sara, was out sick with the flu.

When I found out who started the rumor (Breanna), I didn’t do anything about it. I was too embarrassed and wanted the whole thing to blow over and eventually it did. Yet when you go to such a small school and live in an equally small town it is hard to live that stuff down. Just another reason to not let your kids go to a K-12 school folks!

The most awkward part? Having to call Sara after school and say, “So apparently we are Lesbos who like to do naked star dances…hope your feeling better, bye.”

*Names were changed because their real names weren’t as good.

5 thoughts on “Naked Lesbian dances with your BFF.

  1. I smiled. I would have said laughed but it’s too late (early?) to laugh. But if it wasn’t I totally would. So I followed. I find your blog interesting and funny. Maybe you were shy and awkward as an early teen, but you sure not now 🙂


      • Awkward is good. I find awkward situations extremely funny, sometimes as much that I don’t care if I’m alone, I laugh. 😀
        You know the thing when something is funnier because you are not allowed to laugh. Yes, that. 🙂
        And happy to see you following back. 🙂


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