This is me, trying to rant, about stuff…

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I want to punch this lady in her old lady face.

That was my thought yesterday when I went to go see Interstellar with my husband. We try to go to the movies on weekday afternoons because the theater is usually less crowded. It is the best odds to not get stuck sitting next to some jackass that doesn’t have good movie etiquette. It is one of my biggest pet peeves which doesn’t often mix well with my love of going to the movies.

I always think of those “silence your cellphone reminders” as being such a sad thing. Why? To me, it should be common sense that when you go into a dark room with a bunch of strangers that you would automatically know to do this!

Other things you should know:

  • That you are not the only person paying to see this movie.
  • That I didn’t pay ten dollars to hear you say, “that wasn’t funny” every two seconds in a comedy.  I didn’t sign up for your running commentary.  P.S. IT WAS REALLY FUNNY!!
  • I also didn’t pay to hear your kid tell you everything that is going to happen before it happens in the movie because they “read the book.” I am all for kids reading more, but I don’t need to hear about it while trying to enjoy the last Harry Potter film.

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  • I definitely didn’t sign up for getting my space invaded and almost hit in the face when you forgot that someone was sitting next to you while you played “keep away” with your friend’s cellphone.

All true stories, all reasons why I try to avoid weekend showings. Why do people have to be reminded to be decent human beings?

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Monday mornings/afternoons are the perfect time to get the full movie experience, without the large crowds. Normally on these days I only have to share the theater with a few random couples or the occasional small group. People who are possibly just like me and annoyed by large crowds. At worst, I will have to deal with the random person that decides to sit practically next to me in an empty theater. Which is just creepy to me, but as long as there are quiet, I could care less. Yesterday was not my usual Monday crowd.

Every time there are more than six people in the theater, I have a mini panic attack. Only because I know it will be just my luck to get stuck sitting near the most annoying person imaginable. Yesterday it was an older woman, possibly in her late 50’s, who decided to sit a couple seats away from me.

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It started with her lack of patience for the movie to start when the screen went black for a solid two minutes. She thought it would be hilarious to keep saying “Now for Interstellar!” Getting louder every time she said it. “NOW FOR INTERSTELLAR!!”  She ended up saying it about ten times.  Ten times too many.  Then when the previews started she would remark “oooh that looks good!” or “Not for me…” after each one.

I hoped that overpaying for the booming sounds of IMAX would drown her out when the film started. Luckily, for the most part it did. Except for the occasionally quiet sad parts, which resulted in her crying extremely loud. Or when they would show impressive shots of different planets she would gasp uncontrollably. As if she had just came to the realization that there was more in the vast universe than Earth. I guess the movie struck a cord with her, but the whole theater didn’t need to know about it.

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Frankly, I wanted to punch this lady in the face or wished she was marooned on one those planets she was so loudly swooning over.

The best part of movies, for me, is getting sucked into the plot and forgetting about the daily grind of life. It is kind of hard to do that when people can’t control their cellphones, kids, or their own mouths. In the end, the old woman didn’t annoy me enough to move (THANKS IMAX!), but it did however annoy me enough to write this rant.

So please if you are one of these people, stay at home and wait to rent movies.  Please, for the sake of humanity or at least my sanity.

So, yeah, rant over.

Anyone else have any bad movie-going experiences they want to share?

2 thoughts on “This is me, trying to rant, about stuff…

  1. Someone I know stood up and became stuck between the seats and the person sitting in the seat. She just wanted to get up and use the bathroom but this person decided to put everything they process on the floor but she didn’t see it until she got her foot stuck and lost her balance. This person made a big fuss, and decided to blame her for stepping on their food and their stuff. I don’t even think she came back into the theater. The irritation is real.

    Liked by 1 person

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