Never trust a six year old.

I wrote this for one of my classes, but thought it would be a good addition to the blog.  Hope you enjoy! : )


I am six years old and don’t need my parent’s help during bath time. Mom comes by to stick her hand underneath the faucet every so often. She mutters “too hot” and turns the nob slightly to the left. On her last stop, the water has reached past my belly button, so she turns the nob all the way, making my Barbie’s waterfall vanish. I assure her that I am ok and she starts to close the door, leaving it open just a crack. I can reenact the best scene of my favorite movie, The Little Mermaid. Like Ariel, my arms and legs are covered in big soapy bubbles. I cup a big cloud in my hands and let out a great gust as the tiny suds lightly scatter in front of me.

Next, I grab the bar of blue soap and plunge it in the water, quickly putting it back, slightly moved, so it looks like it has been used. I save the best for last, practicing my amateur gymnastic moves using the wide edge of the bathtub as the balance beam. I saw the USA Women’s team gracefully leap around on one during the Summer Olympics. BAM! I am up there only for a matter of seconds when my wet foot slips off the beam. My chin catches my fall on the edge of the tub, and it won’t stop throbbing, but I don’t dare call for Mom, who is watching TV with Dad in the living room.

I wrap the nearest towel around my shoulders and unplug the tub. Mom will be so proud that I did it all by myself. I head towards her smiling, but a little sore with my hairbrush in hand and some hair ties so she can braid my hair. When Mom and Dad see me, they both let out a screech. I look down to see what they are yelling about; a thin stream of red runs down my chest.

A late night emergency room visit and six stiches later, Mom tells me the bad news. It may be a long time before I get to take another bath by myself.

As an added bonus to celebrate SNL 40 Anniversary special, enjoy one of my favorite SNL characters ever. If you are thinking this is a random addition, well there is a bathtub in it.  SO THERE.

Watch Simon: Christmas Drawings with Vinnie

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